A Certain Alchemical Thanksgiving

Part 2

Turkey is soaking in cold water, the final stages of thaw. One slight snag was that we couldn't see the opening of the neck in which giblets are to be removed. So we called Mother-in-law. That aside, it makes me wonder why those gross things are in a bag. Why not remove them all together? Why not leave them in untouched as nature intended? Wife explains it's because some people eat that stuff. Why? To gain a turkey's courage? Its tasty courage?

A Certain Alchemical Thanksgiving

Part 1

Tonight, I embark on a perilous journey. The deal breaker, it seems. My first real test as some poor jackass who thinks he can cook. The last Thursday of November and with it, THE meal for most American families. Am I up to the test? Does it matter, as I'm only cooking for four/five? Maybe. But I'm not stupid. Let's prep ahead tonight.

Step one is the bird, which I admit, is typically dry and in desperate need of canned gravy whenever my beloved relatives (Two of them, both dead. God rest their souls.) cook one up. Though, my Aunt Marie was a clever bird and stuffed hers with peeled oranges prior to roasting. Yum. But anyway, how am I to tackle this and not leave the holiday disappointed? Hopefully, Alton Brown will come through for me again, as he suggests a brine. Check his recipe for full details but I didn't have everything. It came out to:

A gallon (or so. It was eight cans) of vegetable broth.
1 cup salt
1/2 cup brown sugar
The black pepper, rosemary and sage I just eyeballed. Though I guess it's a lot.

It's in the fridge now to cool. Ice is on standby tomorrow.

Stuffing was next on the list and while I originally had plans to buy some fresh loaves from Panera, no time was found. Wife ended up buying pre-cubed pre-dried stuff. Two bags full. So tonight, I plan on roasting three carrots, three celeries, and two onions tossed with olive oil and more salt and pepper. 450 degress for 50 minutes. I'm stirring occasionally, noticing some black around the edges. I hope that's fine.

That's it for tonight, though. All the cooking I plan to do. Part two tomorrow.

Chili Knight

Yes, it's chili again. This time though, such a big change! I actually measured things! Except for the olive oil. Eyeballed again. That and a pinch or two of salt. It was just for the onion roughly chopped and three cloves of garlic finely minced.

After that, about a pound and a quarter of ground turkey, which the wife says we should try out now. It went in once all the other stuff got soft and brown and flavorful. A funny thing, too: I tossed in the seasonings early. Usually I wait for all the liquids but I figured, what the hell. Here's where I measured.

One tablespoon each of chili powder and adobo, one teaspoon of cumin and three big pinches of basil. Once browned, for fun, I tossed in a quarter cup of beer. One full can of chili beans in their special sauce went in. And because wife likes it this way, one thirty two ounce can of diced tomatoes. Because I like it this way, two thirds of a cup of salsa. After seven shots of Worcestershire sauce, the lid went on and I simmered for... a while, actually. Maybe three hours. Now, for ME, I usually toss in Cayenne and lots of it. Sadly, wife likes things mild. So absolutely zero went in. I kept my pallet happy with hot sauce though.

That's it. For the first time, an ACTUAL recipe and not me just saying "Hurr durr everybody in the pool".

Colonol Mustard

If it's one thing everyone I know knows about me, it's that I love mustard. I have since I was little. My late uncle introduced the stuff to me on a salami sandwich back when I was very wee. My darling wife took me to a museum about the stuff in Mt. Horeb Wisconsin. I have always admired mustard's strong flavors, how well it goes on any meat imaginable, how... not bad it is for you and how astoundingly little goes into every jar. When I visited the museum (Hey, I should post those pictures I took!) I bought a little book on the subject. Upon reading, one of the first things it mentions in the recipe section was how stupidly easy it was to make. So, today, finally, as I was constantly talking about it for AGES, I got off my ass and did it. Sure enough, it took me fifteen minutes.

Quarter cup each brown and yellow mustard seeds, ground as fine as I could.
Half cup apple cider vinegar.
Three tablespoons turmeric.
Quarter teaspoon salt and sugar.
I also eyeballed garlic powder and adobo, which I put in everything.
Also, to smooth it out and not make it look like library paste, I added ten teaspoons water, added one at a time, because I was eyeballing it.

The flavor? Almost unpleasant. The vinegar is very overpowering. I think I also added too much turmeric? There's another flavor that really socks me in the teeth, which COULD be mustard doing it's mustard thing, but I don't know.

I'll do research, make more batches. I WILL make a mustard I can love.

Ramen

A couple weeks ago, we went to Manhattan for the day. I shall post the main reason later. But once the sun set, it was off to dinner time at a little place in Union Square.

http://www.ippudony.com/

These guys. And let me just say, they're wonderful. Aside from great atmosphere and an eager staff with lots of fighting spirit, the food was WONDERFUL. I have never had genuine ramen before. Now instant just doesn't compare. My entree was Shiromaru Hakata Classic topped with Kakuni. Heaven in a bowl. An absolute symphony of flavors, all dancing merrily together. No amount of bitter or sour or salty or sweet overplayed the other.

The appetizers too! Hirata Pork Buns were wonderful! The meat was sweet and spicy, topped with lettuce and mayo, as these were more of a sandwich than a true bun. The "bun" was SO spongy and light and fluffy! A perfect vessel! They even offered a special that night: Philli Cheese Steak Egg Rolls. Exactly as it sounds. Came with a spicy lemon ketchup. Heaven.

Go there. Now.

Something short

I would just like to say quickly, that nothing makes me happier than consistency. I made the broccoli and mushroom casserole again, as stated in an earlier post. Today, I just used bagged broccoli and oriental flavored ramen. That's all. Still good. Just sayin'.

Two things I forgot about

One, I made a casserole the other day. Broccoli and Mushroom. Wife loved it. I really don't feel like posting the recipe. Luckily, it's one of Alton Brown's. Surprise surprise.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWI1qKV8sS0

Yeah, it's there. Only difference is, when we went to a Super Wal-Mart, I accidentally got 8oz of mushrooms, not 12. So I added an onion. Came out wonderful.

Secondly, today, I baked cookies. I'm still lazy. Here it is.

http://crepesofwrath.net/2009/11/16/olive-oil-chocolate-chip-cookies/

The lady was right. They ARE super moist and chewy! This may guarantee a spot in my pantry for extra virgin olive oil. Typically, I cook my veggies in Country Crock.

G'night.

I need to get into better habits

Remember when I used to post here? Remember when there were recipes on a regular basis? Yeah, me neither. But with the year ever so slowly drawing to a close, I think I should fill this. More 2010s than 2009s. Maybe. So let's get things started with Chicken Fried Steak, which I'm making tonight. I had it once at an IHOP, and it was terrible. Bleh. Darling wife assured me that it's not always like that. So I try it myself. She found for me a few slabs of meat from A&P all perforated (because I don't know the actual word) and ready to go. All they need is love.

Personally, I plan on using two eggs and a cup of milk for the wet stuff. Maybe... another half cup if I don't think it's enough. Into flower, I'll be adding... well, I dunno what I'm adding yet. I always season by the seat of my pants.

I'll be going Wet + Dry + Wet + Dry. Yes, wet first. Yes, double dipping. I tried this once before and it came out great so shaddap.

They'll be cooking in Fay. Things should go according to plan.

Update:

Two eggs and one cup milk looked fine. I didn't measure my AP Flour but it was enough to fill a 9x9 casserole up about a third/quarter of the way. In it I dumped a tablespoon of salt/baking powder/garlic powder and a whole bunch of grinds of black pepper. The steaks got a gentle sprinkling of Adobo. Now we wait for Fay to heat up.

Closing statements: Delicious. I made yellow rice and red beans to top it off. In the beans, I added a can of sweet corn for no reason. To season, I tossed in the remainder of my BBQ rub.

New York Renaissance Faire

Deep fried Oreos. Need I say more?















My first onion blossom. Good, but a little under-seasoned. Also, I had no idea this was supposed to feed six.















This. Now this, sadly I didn't think to take a picture of before I dove into it. The booth called it a Barbecue Sunday. Three layered treat, this was. At the bottom were sweet and tangy baked beans. In the middle, creamy Cole slaw. At first, I was skeptical at this choice, but then I remembered I love Cole slaw anyway. The contact was wonderful. The top layer was pulled pork! There was bark and everything! So soft and tender and full of flavor! The three were heaven in a cup! Completely worth the six dollars. Oh, and it was topped off with a little cherry tomato. Awww, it's cute.

So everyone knows, nearly the entirety of what we spent that day ($95) was for food. Aside from, y'know, getting in to see the astounding attractions. We saw a bronze bell show. Beautiful and soothing. The sweet music, along with a cool breeze nearly put me to sleep in the grass. Dexter Tripp also blew himself up. We kept him from burning alive by throwing water balloons at him. There was Nun-related stand up comedy. Lots of things. But not food related. So I won't post about that anymore.

Oh, Hamlet, how camest thou in such a pickle?

It's been a while. Ages. I know. Life sucks. So do I. But guess what! Today, I finally have something to post about! Koolickles! I saw them on Good Eats. I read about them in AB's Feasting on Asphalt book, which happened to be in bargain at my store. I gauged reactions in my store. Finally, one week ago precisely, I tried them.

Two packets of cherry, unsweetened Kool-Aid, two and a third cups sugar and an 80 oz jar of Vlasic Kosher dills, quartered. That's the recipe, aside from letting them sit in your fridge for a week.

All I can really say is that these are heaven. Still crunchy. Still sour. The cherry blends so nicely, you still get little hints of garlic. This is heaven. A perfect summer snack. Try them now or else your life will be without meaning.

No recipe today

I need to overhaul this thing. For starters, I'm not fourteen and this isn't live journal. Black background? What the fuck. More importantly, I can come up with something way better than what this looks like now. Garbage I tell you. On behalf of my beautiful and loving wife, I should also blog more. Weekly segments, I thought would get me in the habit. I was thinking "Iron Man Monday" to celebrate my shiny new pan. Maybe. I dunno yet. Maybe "Roserade Recommends". Also I dunno yet. I'm thinking. But it's time for a change.