A Certain Alchemical Thanksgiving

Part 2

Turkey is soaking in cold water, the final stages of thaw. One slight snag was that we couldn't see the opening of the neck in which giblets are to be removed. So we called Mother-in-law. That aside, it makes me wonder why those gross things are in a bag. Why not remove them all together? Why not leave them in untouched as nature intended? Wife explains it's because some people eat that stuff. Why? To gain a turkey's courage? Its tasty courage?

A Certain Alchemical Thanksgiving

Part 1

Tonight, I embark on a perilous journey. The deal breaker, it seems. My first real test as some poor jackass who thinks he can cook. The last Thursday of November and with it, THE meal for most American families. Am I up to the test? Does it matter, as I'm only cooking for four/five? Maybe. But I'm not stupid. Let's prep ahead tonight.

Step one is the bird, which I admit, is typically dry and in desperate need of canned gravy whenever my beloved relatives (Two of them, both dead. God rest their souls.) cook one up. Though, my Aunt Marie was a clever bird and stuffed hers with peeled oranges prior to roasting. Yum. But anyway, how am I to tackle this and not leave the holiday disappointed? Hopefully, Alton Brown will come through for me again, as he suggests a brine. Check his recipe for full details but I didn't have everything. It came out to:

A gallon (or so. It was eight cans) of vegetable broth.
1 cup salt
1/2 cup brown sugar
The black pepper, rosemary and sage I just eyeballed. Though I guess it's a lot.

It's in the fridge now to cool. Ice is on standby tomorrow.

Stuffing was next on the list and while I originally had plans to buy some fresh loaves from Panera, no time was found. Wife ended up buying pre-cubed pre-dried stuff. Two bags full. So tonight, I plan on roasting three carrots, three celeries, and two onions tossed with olive oil and more salt and pepper. 450 degress for 50 minutes. I'm stirring occasionally, noticing some black around the edges. I hope that's fine.

That's it for tonight, though. All the cooking I plan to do. Part two tomorrow.

Chili Knight

Yes, it's chili again. This time though, such a big change! I actually measured things! Except for the olive oil. Eyeballed again. That and a pinch or two of salt. It was just for the onion roughly chopped and three cloves of garlic finely minced.

After that, about a pound and a quarter of ground turkey, which the wife says we should try out now. It went in once all the other stuff got soft and brown and flavorful. A funny thing, too: I tossed in the seasonings early. Usually I wait for all the liquids but I figured, what the hell. Here's where I measured.

One tablespoon each of chili powder and adobo, one teaspoon of cumin and three big pinches of basil. Once browned, for fun, I tossed in a quarter cup of beer. One full can of chili beans in their special sauce went in. And because wife likes it this way, one thirty two ounce can of diced tomatoes. Because I like it this way, two thirds of a cup of salsa. After seven shots of Worcestershire sauce, the lid went on and I simmered for... a while, actually. Maybe three hours. Now, for ME, I usually toss in Cayenne and lots of it. Sadly, wife likes things mild. So absolutely zero went in. I kept my pallet happy with hot sauce though.

That's it. For the first time, an ACTUAL recipe and not me just saying "Hurr durr everybody in the pool".

Colonol Mustard

If it's one thing everyone I know knows about me, it's that I love mustard. I have since I was little. My late uncle introduced the stuff to me on a salami sandwich back when I was very wee. My darling wife took me to a museum about the stuff in Mt. Horeb Wisconsin. I have always admired mustard's strong flavors, how well it goes on any meat imaginable, how... not bad it is for you and how astoundingly little goes into every jar. When I visited the museum (Hey, I should post those pictures I took!) I bought a little book on the subject. Upon reading, one of the first things it mentions in the recipe section was how stupidly easy it was to make. So, today, finally, as I was constantly talking about it for AGES, I got off my ass and did it. Sure enough, it took me fifteen minutes.

Quarter cup each brown and yellow mustard seeds, ground as fine as I could.
Half cup apple cider vinegar.
Three tablespoons turmeric.
Quarter teaspoon salt and sugar.
I also eyeballed garlic powder and adobo, which I put in everything.
Also, to smooth it out and not make it look like library paste, I added ten teaspoons water, added one at a time, because I was eyeballing it.

The flavor? Almost unpleasant. The vinegar is very overpowering. I think I also added too much turmeric? There's another flavor that really socks me in the teeth, which COULD be mustard doing it's mustard thing, but I don't know.

I'll do research, make more batches. I WILL make a mustard I can love.